Skip to main content

Humans Are Designed For Many Things; Lonliness Is NOT one of them.

This past week has been exhausting. I'm completely drained. I haven't felt this alone in quite sometime. It's as if I'm isolated from the rest of the world. I don't want to go out and do too much; i don't want to be around too many people and i don't look forward to much either. I find myself crying a lot more and smiling alot less. I'm emotionally burned out & My hours seem like days.

They say "Time Heals Pain" --- but exactly what time zone do you have to be in for that to happen? Things havn't gotten any easier. I've learned to act like they have but it's still the same ol' thing.

I feel soo deprived; i feel empty inside & its this thing i feel like i'm missing and can't let go.. There's Got to be soo much more to life..

Life is too short to be anything but happy; but i'm stuck searching for happiness because it's not in reaching distance. I Want, I Hope, I Pray, I Wish, I Dream BUT i GET NOTHING.

As long as i feel like this i'll never be satisfied. I'll never smile and actually mean it and i'll never be able 2 honestly say "I'm Happy" --- i say that all the time but it's a damn lie. I cant even remember the last time i was "Happy" --- Nights Like this it doesn't even seem like i ever was.

Every little bit hurts.
Memories are Ancient.
Friends Are Foes.
Love has TURNED to HATE..
You Said You Would Be Here Forever... Why Didn't You Stay?
Smiles have turned into Frowns
Laughter is Sobbing.
Happiness is Depression.
Battles have turned into WAR.
Dreams to Nightmares
Summer to Winter
Peace to Rage
Hello to Goodbye
Life to Death.

I'm not that strong; It's only so much i can deal with. Lord please give me the strength to get pass this. I want to be happy again. I'm tired of crying; sick of fighting and worn out.. It's not asking for too much; is it? I've been patient & i've been kind.. I dont want to suffer anymore but i've yet to find my place in this world.



















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Long Bus Ride Home

The world is controlled by two forces. The highest of the two being a positive energy of GOD, Compassion, and LOVE. The other being the complete opposite; utterly evil, destructive and hateful, better known as The Devil. I grew up being extremely familiar with the opposing side due to my elementary school fame... I can remember countless times where I was the cause of someone crying at recess because I excluded them from whatever girl group, club or gang my friends and I had formed at lunch earlier that day. The Spice Girls were usually who we strolled around Recess pretending to be. But looking back I realize we were more like Destiny's Child due to the fact the revolving door was always open. I was Beyonce though, so I did the kicking out and the replacing. Always. I was one of three black girls in my entire school so I was different and people admired that. Innocent souls admire the significant things in life. Unfortunately back then I let the hype go to my head and an EGO ...
Post a Comment
Read more

BALANCE: an even distribution of energy enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

It's been exactly 3 months since I've publicly written . In the missed time I've been doing some soul searching, soul recovering and soul spoiling. When I say soul [searching], I'm referring to searching for more wisdom and truth from what I've already been so enriched with within this short but precious lifetime of mines. The soul recovering I speak of is in reference to the refocus, and revamping of my purpose I've been diligently working on since-- what felt like the Coldest Winter Ever ended. Saving the best for last, the soul spoiling I mentioned was said modestly yet wholeheartedly in regards to the decisions, power moves, and progress I've made with awareness, peace and love; which has entirely been a motivating factor in bringing me closer to GOD, UNIVERSE, SPIRIT, HEAVEN, PEACE, LOVE, etc. than I've ever been before. I'll keep it real because we all deserve REAL: This past winter after returning from Africa, I never really readjusted to...
Post a Comment
Read more

27

Today is my 27th birthday and I feel like I have nothing to show for the 27 years I've been on this earth. But at the same time I have a good amount of reasons to be thankful for every year spent on this beautiful colorful earth. 10 years ago today, I turned 17 years old and a totally different woman sits here today typing this. I always wish I could afford the luxury of time traveling since the present isn't always as jubilant as my teenager years were but GOD knows my days now have more meaning than my 17 year old self could have ever imagined. Through triumph and terror one thing has always remained over the years... that tomorrow presents a new opportunity, new chances, and alternatives. These are 27 lifestyle choices that I want to master: 27 1) Stop feeding dead relationships or friendships. A lot of characters get written off or die. It's ok if the people that started out don't fit in your story anymore. 2) Stop being indecisive when it comes to what you...
Post a Comment
Read more